Knowing how long to speak, when to begin and when to finish; how to say something politely that your opposite number may not want to hear; how to say, always, what is most significant at a given moment ...how to insist on your own position without offending…

Featured Post

There are many fine things which we cannot say if we have to shout.

Featured Post

The social concourse is essentially a matter of one citizen polishing another; polishing, that is, not only so that rough spots and edges may be removed, but also so that one may begin to reflect another in the common social project of public life.

Featured Post

When outrage becomes the norm on the internet, someone who isn't outraged suddenly becomes unacceptable.

Featured Post

We need to rediscover the lost art of democratic argument.

Featured Post

Veneers are very important. Without veneers how do we conduct civil life? Veneers are important between enemies and friends. I don't think it demeans something to say it's a veneer.

Featured Post

I feel obliged to say that the emotional universes we inhabit are so distinct, and in deepest ways opposed, that nothing fruitful or sincere could ever emerge from association between us.

Featured Post

The less people know, the more they yell.

Featured Post

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.

Featured Post

Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.

Featured Post

The most important tactic in an argument next to being right is to leave an escape hatch for your opponent so that he can gracefully swing over to your side without an embarrassing loss of face.

Featured Post

Belonging means you can disagree with others. It encourages others to be themselves to their fullest sense.

Featured Post

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.

Featured Post

Respect actually means listening to something you’d rather not hear… and listening must include the possibility of recognizing there may be rights on the other side.

Featured Post

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.

Featured Post

Maybe it's more important to understand who we alienate through what we say and do than it is to know who thinks like us?

Featured Post

People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others.

Featured Post

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Featured Post

Civility is the enabling condition of a larger debate about the world we want.

Featured Post

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.

Featured Post

I should like you to understand the intensity of this conviction on my part. It is not out of any attempt to be rude that I say this but because of all that I value in human experience and human achievement.

Featured Post

But politeness is no substitute for morality, and won’t save us in the end.

Featured Post

A world without friction is a world without politics, diversity or sufficient opportunities for human control and intervention.

Featured Post

When it comes to the jerk within, eternal vigilance is the price of civility.

Featured Post

If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human achievement.

Featured Post

Words are events, they do things, change things. They transform both speaker and hearer; they feed energy back and forth and amplify it.

Featured Post

It is not uncivil to speak up.

Featured Post